Is Friends with Benefits the same as a casual fling?

No, friends with benefits (FWB) is absolutely not the same as a casual fling. An FWB relationship is an explicit agreement between two people that revolves around sex. As part of this agreement, both people also agree that no romantic feelings will develop.

A casual fling is someone you have met (online) and with whom you are intimate from time to time. With a casual fling, there is a possibility that your relationship may develop into dating with the intention of forming a serious relationship.

1. Make clear agreements

Friends with benefits may seem appealing, but it often leads to the loss of friendships. It is essential to make clear agreements to ensure that an FWB relationship runs smoothly. This ensures that both parties have the same expectations. If you notice that your feelings for the other person are becoming stronger than just sexual attraction, it is important to discuss this and look for a solution together.

During your friends with benefits arrangement, it is also important to make clear agreements about whether either of you will also be intimate with other people.

2. Be honest

Although you are intimate from time to time, you are still friends. Be open and honest about what you do and, more importantly, do not want. That way, you can preserve the friendship even after you decide to stop being intimate.

3. Experiment

This is an ideal opportunity to try new things in the bedroom. Think of it as a kind of training camp where you can experiment before entering into a serious relationship with someone else.

For example, have you never tried a natural erection pill before? Then this is the perfect opportunity to experiment with one.

4. Give each other space

You have decided to be friends with benefits—nothing more, nothing less. It is important to give each other space.

5. Be careful who you choose

Not everyone is suitable as an FWB partner. Find someone who is like-minded and is only looking for fun.

6. Don’t stay the night

Avoid staying the night, exchanging cuddles after sex, and especially making declarations of love. Once this happens, your friends with benefits arrangement starts evolving into a romantic relationship.

7. Be flexible

If you or your partner no longer feels comfortable with the arrangement, be honest and willing to end it. It is also possible that your partner has met someone else with whom they want to pursue a serious relationship. If that happens, don’t become frustrated or self-centred.

8. Safety

Make sure your intimate encounters do not result in unwanted visits to the doctor or an STI clinic. As friends with benefits, you are most likely both single. It is possible that one of you has had unprotected sex with someone else. Therefore, always use condoms.

9. Avoid an FWB arrangement with someone you have feelings for

As mentioned earlier, the line between friends with benefits (FWB) and something more is very subtle. If you already have feelings for someone, it may be tempting to suggest an FWB arrangement. However, this is not advisable. As you spend more time together, there is a good chance you will want more than just an FWB relationship. This can lead to mismatched expectations, frustration, jealousy, and ultimately even the end of the friendship.

10. Jealousy

As difficult as it may be, try to avoid feeling jealous of the person with whom you have an FWB arrangement. Your partner may meet someone else with whom they want to have an exclusive relationship. In that case, ending the FWB arrangement becomes inevitable. Try to understand this and avoid reacting with jealousy, no matter how difficult it may be.

If you notice that both of you are becoming jealous of each other, it may be worth considering whether you could be more than just friends with benefits.